Good Intensions, Bad Results

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I am posting a short story I wrote a few months back, which made me go to thinking about how many times I thought I was doing something really good for myself or my family and it blew up in my face.  I am not talking about the things we do, which we know there is a chance they could go wrong.  It’s the stuff that comes entirely out of the blue that knocks you down and stomps you a little bit.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading my story.  I would like to have some feedback on the story.  Everyone have a blessed day, and that’s my two-cents for today.

Good intentions Bad Results

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions.

Friday, April 16, 2010 is a red-letter day.  I have a new job, I live in my own condominium, my health is good, and my family loves me.  I have so many blessings I cannot list them all.

I have a boy friend, Andy Wilson.  He is such a loving person.  He makes me happy. I keep a smile on my face
when I am with him.  I am falling in love, and I never want it to end.  He is a man who has everything. He is wonderful, happy, smart, rich, educated; handsome beyond words, and is still single.

The doorbell is ringing. I slowly cross the floor and open the door.  “Come in, Andy”.

“Wow, you look absolutely wonderful”.  He grabs me, pulls me towards him, and kisses me.

“Dinner will be in about ten minutes, relax for a few minutes.”

“Dinner is served, sir.  We have a standing rib roast, mashed potatoes, Sautéed asparagus’, honey sweetened baby carrots and yeast rolls.  I made fresh strawberry short cake for dessert.”

“This is wonderful and I don’t want it to end.  Would you care to dance?” Andy asks.  We dance as my mind keeps telling me; this is too good to be true.

“Paula, I do not feel well. My throat feels a little tight.” “Sit down on the couch. Would you like a glass of water”?  His face was
beginning to swell, especially around his mouth.

“Andy, I need to call an ambulance for you.  You are beginning to scare me”.  I called 911, gave them the address and went
to Andy.

His respirations were fast, and he was starting to squeak when he exhaled. “What is happening to you”, I asked.  He could not answer me.   My mind is screaming, where are they, it is taking too long. I can hear the sirens. “They are almost here, Andy.  Hold on honey, please hold on”.

I followed the ambulance to the hospital.  It seemed I waited forever and then the door opened and a nurse in scrubs came to me and asked if I was the person with Andy Wilson.  I said, “yes, I am his girlfriend”.  She took hold of my hand, and said”I am so sorry, but we could not save him.”  My world went cold and black.

Andy died from anaphylactic shock.  It turns out he was highly allergic to peanuts.  I kept running our dinner repeatedly
through my mind.  Where could he have gotten peanuts with our dinner?

I went to the pantry one morning to get down my oatmeal.  My eyes scanned the shelves; I noticed two bottles of oil sitting next to each other.  One was a light corn oil and the other was, the other was, oh my God, its peanut oil.  Now I know, I killed my Andy with good intentions.

 

About shirleymclain930

I am a retired RN, I am currently promoting my book, Dobyns Chronicles. My first book published in November 2010 called "The Tower", has been revised. My newest book is a Young Adult Fantasy called Princess Adele's Dragon. It was a fun book to write. I'm enjoying my retirement to the fullest. I like adventure and travel and making friends. I have 5 dogs and 1 cats. They are like having a house full of three years olds. They are a large part of my life and I can't imagine not having them. I spend most of my time sitting in front of my computer working on my latest book. The final edit is time-consuming. I prefer to write or monitor my social sites. On the personal side, I'm married to a wonderful man who spoils me and I love it. I am very much a country girl. I love living on our 5 acres on Pole Cat Creek watching the deer and other animals occasionally stick their​ heads out of the trees. It's a fun life.

2 responses »

  1. Well done. From moving the characters around to dialogue to tone.

    I think Flash Fiction. Super short, tightly written , oh my ..plot point fiction has the chance to become huge on the mobile net.
    I wrote about it, playful like, here. http://onetimepad.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/quick-lit-trip/

    This is the good stuff one can read awaiting a bus or friend to show… you get the gist. One think…because the dance triggers the Andy’s trouble, maybe you want to allude to music playing beforehand…

    continue to write this stuff …it’s really good.

    Regards,
    Doug

    Like

  2. Thank you so much for your kind remarks. I will take a look at the music playing before hand. I did read what you have written about flash fiction and your wanting a second career. Do you want to be a writer when you grow up 🙂

    Like

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