Living By Example


I believe that man is born inherently good. We are born with all of the goodness that God can bestow on one human being. How many cruel and evil babies have you seen? What you see is a miracle of God at its best. A perfect little human.

That child enters this world with nothing but trust, and remains that way until their brain has matured enough to begin seeing the world around them. What a child learns are what we as a human race teach them. Do you think that a child wakes up one morning thinking, “you know when I am seventeen, I’m going to be selling dope, and I might even rob a liquor store. I think for kicks I’ll shoot the person who’s there.”

What do you think this child learned while his mind was developing? Were mom and dad both working in order to take care of the family? Maybe the child was a latchkey kid who sat in front of the television for hours watching humans kill, beat and rape other humans. Laugh at others misfortune. It could have also been a case of a one-parent family where the child felt abandoned. There are multitudes of possible reasons. Bottom line is they learn by example.

This child may not have received any guidance from his/her parents, because they received none from theirs. How can a young adult make good choices concerning their life if their main role models didn’t teach and guide them. It makes it very easy to take guidance from other kids who don’t have guidance from their parents either.

We live an “anything goes” life style. Parents do their thing and kids do theirs. My parents were firm believers in the spare the rod spoil the child mentality. Their parenting skills came from what they saw and lived as children. My parenting skills were learned the same way. I believe I was a better parent than mine were, and my children are better at parenting than I am. I blame parents when kids are disrespectful, foul-mouthed or when they get into trouble. I know sometimes parents can’t control what is going on, but where were they when morals, values, right and wrong should have been taught.

I believe the majority of parents do the best they can concerning their children. What kind of favor are we doing future generations by not teaching children how to behave in public or at home for that matter?

I have two grown children who turned out well in spite of me. Do I have regrets about their raising? You bet I do. I wish I could do it over again, but that’s not possible. I have to live with my mistakes. I wish every household could be like the thirty minute shows in the 50’ and 60’s such as “My Three Sons, or Father Knows Best, and Leave It To Beaver. Wouldn’t our world be wonderful? We’d have perfect households with terrific kids who would talk to their parents about anything. They made mistakes, but not bad ones. Everything ended on a positive note.

Have we as a society created a future society with an attitude of “I’ll do what I want, when I want and I don’t care what happens to you.” It is a very scary thought to me what my grandchildren will have to deal with. How do you feel about it?

  • kford2007 says:

    I agree with a lot of what you say, but I have 4 kids that were all raised the same way with morals and decency taught to all of them equally. 3 of the 4 have turned out great. However, my 20 year old cusses and does stuff he shouldn’t. It was not from a lack of being there or teaching him right from wrong. My husband and I have been together from the beginning, so there’s no broken home issue. He is, literally, a product of his environment and his friends. His father and I did not teach him to be the way he is. Blaming the parents is not always the right thing to do. I am witness to that. All I can do is pray that he’ll come around and all the positives his father and I drilled into him growing up will sink in and he’ll recognize the errors of his ways.

    Wonderful and thoughtful post.

    • Hello and thank you so much for dropping by. I do know that every child that has problems is not always the parents fault. It was not my intent to write the commentary as if I were totally blaming the parents. Sometimes it does take longer for young adults to grow into maturity. My comments were mainly for those parents who do nothing but let thier children grow bigger without the guidance they need.

  • Chubby Chatterbox says:

    I think we as a society are paying a high price for the material things we are chasing instead of taking the necessary time to raise happy, well-adjusted children. I’ll be the first to admit the difficulties in raising children today when our institutions seem so broken. Young people no longer place their trust in religion, government, or schools. I hear that more and more people are having children out of wedlock; I’m no prude, but this can’t be good for children. I often hear parents say that they want the world to be a better place for their children. I think they’ve got it backwards. The world deserves better human beings.

  • Nicky Wells says:

    Parenting is without the shadow of a doubt the hardest thing I have ever attempted. Believe me, I make mistakes. Lots of them. Worse still, sometimes I can see myself making them without being able to stop myself. Since I had my children, I have eaten more humble pie than ever before in my entire life. I have mentally apologised to all those unknown parents whose parenting skills (or lack thereof, as I thought at the time) I criticised when observing interactions on playgrounds or aeroplanes. It is hard. It is really hard. And the weight of the world, and the opinion of society rests on your shoulders. I agree with what you say about turning out responsible, caring, kind and modest human beings. I agree with the idea of living by example. At the same time, I think one of the biggest things we can teach our kids is that everybody makes mistakes, and that what really matters is how you go about setting the mistakes right. Great post, Shirley, lots of food for thought. XX

    • Hi thanks for stoping by and commenting. I know that parenting is hard. What I was hoping to come across was the lack of parenting to many children have leads to a multitude of problems. I whole heartly agree with teaching children that we are human and all make mistakes. It’s a hard world even doing the best we can. I certainly can’t judge anyone, but I can see and hear some very sad things. Thanks again for your visit. Your welcome anytime.

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  • Parenting truly is the hardest task to take on, but, oh, so worth it. My children are a blessing to me as the day they were born (miracles, both, because I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children). Over the years, I’ve made mistakes, but as of this writing at 13, and 15, they’re doing good. I try to keep them grounded in God and family.

    • Thank you so much for stopping by. Our children are a blessing to us. It’s amazing how many people only look at kids as if their a bother. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make mistakes. I made so many I cringe thinking about it but as I said, my two turned out to be decent, kind, adults that are in the process of raising their own family now. Take care ShirleyCheck out my web-page and my blog at