Tag Archives: marriage

Tips For A Spring Wedding

Standard

Tips for a Spring Wedding

 

Spring is one of the most popular seasons to get married. Everything is in bloom and just waking up form a long winter’s rest. It is very easy to a beautiful spring wedding on a small budget. All you need to do is set a budget, plan early and shop until you drop with all the cheap resources you can find. Some of the best resources that one can take advantage of when it comes to good cheap spring weddings are, the wedding gown, invitations, the cake, favors for the guests and bridal party, rings and even the photography.

Planning a wedding with a spring theme is very simple. When you start planning consider having the wedding on a beach. You really do not have to pay to have the wedding on the beach so that saves money for other things. Plan a spring wedding buy using certain themes such as a butterfly theme or even a tropical theme. Whatever theme you decide to go with, make sure the wedding invitations, favors, cake and even the wedding gown all match the theme accordingly.

If you really want to plan a spring wedding on the cheap side, skip using a wedding planner, they can cost an arm and leg. You can tons of things for a wedding online such as the photographers, rings, the place to have the wedding, the gown, flowers, caterers, and the invitations. In order to get the perfect spring wedding planned exactly the way you want it, start planning the wedding as early as possible like maybe December or January.

Wedding favors are great little trinkets to let your friends and family know you thank them for coming to your wedding. If you want to find the best selection of favor ideas, go online and search the many different vendors there. You can find some amazing little items for just a dollar or less. How cool is that?

Spring wedding can be gorgeous when it comes to decorating with flowers. Spring flowers are vibrant and colorful when it comes to decorating for a Spring wedding. You should choose flowers such as tulips, daffodils, chrysanthemums, daisies or even carnations. You can make flower arrangements using the same flowers you chose for your wedding bouquet so the entire theme matches.

Buying your wedding dress is probably what takes the most time of any wedding planning. Start looking for the perfect spring wedding dress months in advance, so the alterations are done in time. You should also do the same when it comes to the wedding parties’ attire. When you choose the colors for a spring wedding, use ones such as yellows, peaches, white, yellow and even pink.

A spring wedding really is one of the most beautiful weddings that a person could choose. Getting to use all the pastel colors to decorate and choose a beautiful sleeveless flowing gown are just a couple of perks. Anyone can plan a spring wedding quickly or even on a budget. Remember have fun and plan accordingly.

Here are nine wedding dresses for spring of 2013 fashioned created by todays wedding dress designers. Maybe you will find your style or one of these could give you an idea of what you want your dress to look like.

 

wedding dress2 wedding dress3 wedding dress4 Wedding Dress5 Wedding Dress6 Wedding Dress7 Wedding Dress8 Wedding Dress9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed your wedding dress looking. It’s so much fun to dream and to plan that perfect day that only belongs to you and your man.

Top 10 Wedding Songs

This will make you smile. Click Here:Tiny Love Stories

http://posts.fanbox.com/hftw4 Here is another blog showing beautiful dresses.

 

Want Love to Last?

Standard
If you want love to last you might think about marrying your best friend.
 
 
In much of American culture we have this image of love developing from eyes meeting across a crowded room, your socks roll up and down, and then BANG…love ignites! Love seems to happen that way if you watch a lot of Hollywood movies or read a lot of novels. Sadly, too often people make lifelong marital decisions about who to partner with using this template for finding love. More often than not, this method for finding love seems to be a recipe for disaster.

 

Additionally, where do people try and find love and a partner (especially after they complete their education when they are with so many single people of similar age and education)? Online? Bars? Health clubs? Do any of these locations really make much sense in terms of finding your soulmate? After all, who can believe what people post about themselves on the internet? Do you really want to meet your soulmate boozing it up at some bar? Do you really want to meet the life partner of your dreams watching themselves in a mirror while working out? Isn’t there a better way to find love that is more t

 

Want Love To Last

Since the 1970s just about half of all first marriages end in divorce(with the risks of second and third marriages ending in divorce increasing to 60 percent and more). Does anyone ever walk down the aisle on that special marital day saying to oneself, “Gee I have a 50 percent chance of this relationship working out”? The remaining half of marriages who stay together are not always examples of eternal marital bliss either are they? So what can be done to improve your odds of finding lasting love?

 

 

Want Love To Last

Well, some people are pretty negative on this front and argue that fidelity is a concept born of a shorter lifespan. If the average age of marriage is mid to late 20s and the average life span is approaching 80 then that is a lot of time to spend with one person who you thought was pretty hot when they were in their 20s. Some argue that life long partnering is a thing of movies and tradition but not realistic. I beg to differ.  

 

 

Want Love To Last

Of course there are many important factors that contribute to the odds of being happy in love including sexual attraction but one often overlooked element is the notion that you should think seriously about connecting with your pal rather than depending upon who turns you on the most. The day-to-day life of marital partners is so much more about shared interests, values, and perspectives on life and the world rather than who you enjoy looking at and having a fling with for a few hours in your week or month. While this notion seems obvious it is remarkable how few people follow the wisdom on this principle.

 

 

Want Love To Last

So, if you are looking for lifelong love you might want to put the brakes on your impulse to connect with who you think is the hottest and accelerate your relationship with those who you just really enjoy being around. Think about it….which strategy is likely to result in a relationship that lasts a life time?

 

So, when that stimulating attraction is great you don’t want to put all of your eggs in that basket if you want lasting love. What do you think? 

  • This article was written by Dr. Thomas Plante PhD

New Love: A Short Shelf Life

Standard

Newlove

If you fell in love, you know what a driving force “new love” can be. I was one of those people who only wanted the “new love”, and it took me a long time to figure out it was never meant to stay.  Needless to say, long-term relationships were not my strong point at that time in my life. This article tells you why you have that need to hear his or her voice, spend every waking minute thinking about them and what could be. Now that I’m much older and can’t even start to fathom how I wanted “new love”. I’m smarter now (I think), and I don’t want that insanity any more.

New Love: A Short Shelf Life

  IN fairy tales, marriages last happily ever after. Science, however, tells us that wedded bliss has but a limited shelf life.

American and European researchers tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over the course of 15 years. The findings were clear: newlyweds enjoy a big happiness boost that lasts, on average, for just two years. Then the special joy wears off and they are back where they started, at least in terms of happiness. The findings, from a 2003 study, were confirmed by several recent studies.

The good news for the holiday season when families gather in various configurations is that if couples get past that two-year slump and hang on — for another couple of decades — they may well recover the excitement of the honeymoon period 18 to 20 years later, when children are gone. Then, in the freedom of the so-called empty nest, partners are left to discover one another — and often their early bliss — once again.

When love is new, we have the rare capacity to experience great happiness while being stuck in traffic or getting our teeth cleaned. We are in the throes of what researchers call passionate love, a state of intense longing, desire and attraction. In time, this love generally morphs into compassionate love, a less impassioned blend of deep affection and connection. The reason is that human beings are, as more than a hundred studies show, prone to hedonistic adaptation, a measurable and innate capacity to become habituated or inured to most life changes.

With all due respect to poets and pop radio songwriters, new love seems nearly as vulnerable to hedonistic adaptation as a new job, a new home, a new coat and other novel sources of pleasure and well-being. (Though the thrill of a new material acquisition generally fades faster.)

Hedonistic adaptation is most likely when positive experiences are involved. It’s cruel but true: We’re inclined — psychologically and physiologically — to take positive experiences for granted. We move into a beautiful loft. Marry a wonderful partner. Earn our way to the top of our profession. How thrilling! For a time. Then, as if propelled by autonomic forces, our expectations change, multiply or expand and, as they do, we begin to take the new, improved circumstances for granted.

Sexual passion and arousal are particularly prone to hedonistic adaptation. Laboratory studies in places as far-flung as Melbourne, Australia, and Stony Brook, N.Y., are persuasive: both men and women are less aroused after they have repeatedly viewed the same erotic pictures or engaged in similar sexual fantasies. Familiarity may or may not breed contempt; but research suggests that it breeds indifference. Or, as Raymond Chandler wrote: “The first kiss is magic. The second is intimate. The third is routine.”

There are evolutionary, physiological and practical reasons passionate love is unlikely to endure for long. If we obsessed, endlessly, about our partners and had sex with them multiple times a day — every day — we would not be very productive at work or attentive to our children, our friends or our health. (To quote a line from the 2004 film “Before Sunset,” about two former lovers who chance to meet again after a decade, if passion did not fade, “we would end up doing nothing at all with our lives.” ) Indeed, the condition of being in love has a lot in common with the state of addiction and narcissism; if unabated, it will eventually exact a toll.

WHY, then, is the natural shift from passionate to compassionate love often such a letdown? Because, although we may not realize it, we are biologically hard-wired to crave variety. Variety and novelty affect the brain in much the same way that drugs do — that is, they trigger activity that involves the neurotransmitter dopamine, as do pharmacological highs.

Evolutionary biologists believe that sexual variety is adaptive, and that it evolved to prevent incest and inbreeding in ancestral environments. The idea is that when our spouse becomes as familiar to us as a sibling — when we’ve become family — we cease to be sexually attracted to each other.

It doesn’t take a scientist to observe that because the se# in a long-term committed monogamous relationship involves the same partner day after day after day, no one who is truly human (or mammalian) can maintain the same level of lust and ardor that he or she experienced when that love was uncharted and new.

We may love our partners deeply, idolize them, and even be willing to die for them, but these feelings rarely translate into long-term passion. And studies show that in long-term relationships, women are more likely than men to lose interest in sex, and to lose it sooner. Why? Because women’s idea of passionate sex depends far more centrally on novelty than does men’s.

When married couples reach the two-year mark, many mistake the natural shift from passionate love to compassionate love for incompatibility and unhappiness. For many, the possibility that things might be different — more exciting, more satisfying — with someone else proves difficult to resist. Injecting variety and surprise into even the most stable, seasoned relationship is a good hedge against such temptation. Key parties — remember “The Ice Storm”? — aren’t necessarily what the doctor ordered; simpler changes in routine, departures from the expected, go a long way.

In a classic experiment conducted by Arthur Aron and his colleagues, researchers gave upper-middle-class middle-aged couples a list of activities that both parties agreed were “pleasant” (like creative cooking, visiting friends or seeing a movie) or “exciting” (skiing, dancing or attending concerts) but that they had enjoyed only infrequently. Researchers instructed each couple to select one of these activities each week and spend 90 minutes doing it together. At the end of 10 weeks, the couples who engaged in the “exciting” activities reported greater satisfaction in their marriage than those who engaged in “pleasant” or enjoyable activities together.

Although variety and surprise seem similar, they are in fact quite distinct. It’s easy to vary a sequence of events — like choosing a restaurant for a weekly date night — without offering a lot of surprise. In the beginning, relationships are endlessly surprising: Does he like to cook? What is his family like? What embarrasses or delights him? As we come to know our partners better and better, they surprise us less.

Surprise is a potent force. When something novel occurs, we tend to pay attention, to appreciate the experience or circumstance, and to remember it. We are less likely to take our marriage for granted when it continues to deliver strong emotional reactions in us. Also, uncertainty sometimes enhances the pleasure of positive events. For example, a series of studies at the University of Virginia and at Harvard showed that people experienced longer bursts of happiness when they were at the receiving end of an unexpected act of kindness and remained uncertain about where and why it had originated.

Such reactions may have neuroscientific origins. In one experiment, scientists offered drinks to thirsty subjects; those who were not told what kind of drink they would get (i.e., water or a more appealing beverage) showed more activity in the portion of the brain that registers positive emotions. Surprise is apparently more satisfying than stability.

The realization that your marriage no longer supplies the charge it formerly did is then an invitation: eschew predictability in favor of discovery, novelty and opportunities for unpredictable pleasure. “A relationship,” Woody Allen proclaimed in his film “Annie Hall,” “is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” A marriage is likely to change shape multiple times over the course of its lifetime; rebuilding it is a must, so it can thrive.

The good news is that taking the long view on marriage and putting in the hard work has calculable benefits. Research shows that marital happiness reaches one of its highest peaks during the period after offspring have moved out of the family home.

The nest may be empty, but it’s also full of possibility for partners to rediscover — and surprise — each other again. In other words, an empty nest offers the possibility of novelty and unpredictability. Whether this phase of belated marital joy lasts, like the initial period of connubial bliss, for longer than two years is anybody’s guess.

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and the author of the forthcoming book “The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does.”

  • Article by SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY

 

Mail Order Brides

Standard
I am reading a wonderful book call Hearts West by Chris Enss.  It is true stores of Mail Oder Brides on the Frontier.  It is fascinating reading about how woman overcame their shyness and became the women of the frontier.
Giving up everything they had known to venture to a place they’ve not been, in order to meet a man who is unknown to them.  They may have had a few words sent to them by letter, or it could have been as simple as a man came to town, posted an ad to single women to attend a meeting.  The meeting would then explain how the west needed woman to help settle it, and make it more genteel.  Not to mention the fact that men outnumbered woman by at least six to one.
These woman traveled by ship, by wagon train to get to their destination.  Think of what kind of hardships they had to endure to get to “their man”.  It is hard to think what they might have endured in the early to mid 1800’s.
I am sure some of them stayed happily married while others were abused or abandoned.  Doesn’t sound much different from today, does it?
Personal ads were used by woman to find a mate also.  The book shows an advertisement place by Dorothy Scaraggs, Marysville, California newspaper, April 1849.
A Husband Wanted
By a Lady who can wash, cook, scour, sew, milk, spin, weave, hoe, (can’t plow), cut wood, make fires, feed the pigs, raise the chickens, rock the cradle,saw a plank, drive nails, ect, (gold-rocker, I thank you sir),   These are few solid branches, now for the ornamental.  “Long time ago” she went as far as snytax, read Murray’s Geography and through rules in Pike’s grammar.  Could find six states on the Atlas.  Could read, and you can see she can write, Can–no, could paint roses, butterflies, ships, ect. great many things to numerous to be name bare.  Oh, I bear you ask, could she scold? No, she can’t you, you ____  _____good-for nothing!
Now for her terms.  Her age is none of your business.  She is neither handsome nor a fright, yet an old man need not apply, nor any who have not a little more education than she has, and a great deal more guid, for there must be $20,000 settled on her before she will bind herself to perform all the above.
We still have mail order brides today.  Think about how many woman go on-line and find compatible mates.  We haven’t changed much in some areas over the past couple of hundred years.  I find it rather surprising.  As the saying goes, “What goes around, comes around”.
Would you be a mail order spouse?  Let’s discuss it. That’s my two-cents for today.