Tag Archives: parenting skills

Girls Need A Fathers Love

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Fathers-and-their-baby-girlsIt’s known that fathers have a special bond with their little girls and they have been given a huge ability to influence the lives of their daughters. Based on the relationship with the daughter, father’s influence can go either way – positively or negatively. Building this bond through girl’s childhood and teenage ages can be crucial to how she shapes her views of herself and what she expects from other men in her life. Besides being loved, every girl needs her father to fulfill these tasks:

1. Love and respect the mommy

Kids learn by watching how their parents treat each other and everybody else. This perspective will be crucial for creating girl’s expectations further in life. Even if the parents are not together anymore, they should treat each other with respect even when the love is gone. Girls need to be shown the kind of love they should search for.

2. Help her be successful

Lack of self esteem is one of the main reasons why girls don’t strive to be more successful in life. Dad should be involved in all main events in girl’s life as she will always want to earn dad’s approval. One of the main factors in building a girl’s self esteem is hearing that her dad is proud of her. If a dad is supportive, she will most likely feel more comfortable to dream big. Praising and encouraging daughter to grab the opportunity will help her overcome the fears. Don’t forget, research shows that the most successful women have generally had fathers who were interested in their intellect and their academics.

3. Make her feel beautiful

Since we live in a world where girls are often insecure about their looks, few compliments from the dad will be enough to make a girl feel pretty. Giving her flowers from time to time, or complimenting her hair will do great things for her confidence. This will also help her define what to expect from her prom date, a boyfriend or a future husband. It’s true, girls will eventually learn that there is more to life than being beautiful, but there’s no harm in feeling pretty.

4. Set up rules and structure

We all know that parents can easily give in and lose control while setting up rules with their kids. This mistake can lead to creating unrealistic expectations and actually be a great obstacle in girl’s life later on. She needs to have a structure and understand that there is a line which dad won’t cross just because he loves her. Even this can be difficult to achieve, one day she will be grateful for the gift of having rules.

5. Love her unconditionally

All of the above can be achieved with a great will and dedication. This will is driven only by one thing – father’s unconditional love. This is a bond for the whole life and if each dad choses to build this relationship, it can be extremely rewarding and fulfilling both for a dad and a daughter.

Living By Example

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I believe that man is born inherently good. We are born with all of the goodness that God can bestow on one human being. How many cruel and evil babies have you seen? What you see is a miracle of God at its best. A perfect little human.

That child enters this world with nothing but trust, and remains that way until their brain has matured enough to begin seeing the world around them. What a child learns are what we as a human race teach them. Do you think that a child wakes up one morning thinking, “you know when I am seventeen, I’m going to be selling dope, and I might even rob a liquor store. I think for kicks I’ll shoot the person who’s there.”

What do you think this child learned while his mind was developing? Were mom and dad both working in order to take care of the family? Maybe the child was a latchkey kid who sat in front of the television for hours watching humans kill, beat and rape other humans. Laugh at others misfortune. It could have also been a case of a one-parent family where the child felt abandoned. There are multitudes of possible reasons. Bottom line is they learn by example.

This child may not have received any guidance from his/her parents, because they received none from theirs. How can a young adult make good choices concerning their life if their main role models didn’t teach and guide them. It makes it very easy to take guidance from other kids who don’t have guidance from their parents either.

We live an “anything goes” life style. Parents do their thing and kids do theirs. My parents were firm believers in the spare the rod spoil the child mentality. Their parenting skills came from what they saw and lived as children. My parenting skills were learned the same way. I believe I was a better parent than mine were, and my children are better at parenting than I am. I blame parents when kids are disrespectful, foul-mouthed or when they get into trouble. I know sometimes parents can’t control what is going on, but where were they when morals, values, right and wrong should have been taught.

I believe the majority of parents do the best they can concerning their children. What kind of favor are we doing future generations by not teaching children how to behave in public or at home for that matter?

I have two grown children who turned out well in spite of me. Do I have regrets about their raising? You bet I do. I wish I could do it over again, but that’s not possible. I have to live with my mistakes. I wish every household could be like the thirty minute shows in the 50’ and 60’s such as “My Three Sons, or Father Knows Best, and Leave It To Beaver. Wouldn’t our world be wonderful? We’d have perfect households with terrific kids who would talk to their parents about anything. They made mistakes, but not bad ones. Everything ended on a positive note.

Have we as a society created a future society with an attitude of “I’ll do what I want, when I want and I don’t care what happens to you.” It is a very scary thought to me what my grandchildren will have to deal with. How do you feel about it?