Tag Archives: Suicide

Mind Boggling

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The BrainHave you ever given any  thought to how amazing the mind is.  The more I read and watch what happens in this world, the more I realize what an amazing creation God gave to us.

Even as slow as I can be at times, it’s the other times that totally blows me away.  I ask myself “how is this possible, because I know me very well and this is not my norm.”  I’m not the brightest bulb in this vast closet we all live in, but I’m not the dimmest either. Why my brain can do what it does I will never figure out.  Some people may think they know, but there is always an area of doubt when it comes to our minds.  Science is making headway into figuring it out, but still has a long way to go.

I have struggled with my mind since I was a child. Over my life time, the majority of the disease processes which has affected me, involved my brain. Two of the main areas were Clinical Depression and Encephalitis. According to the Mayo Clinic

Clinical depression symptoms may include:

  • Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities
  • Significant weight loss or gain
  • Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep nearly every day
  • Slowed thinking or movement that others can see
  • Fatigue or low energy nearly every day
  • Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
  • Loss of concentration or indecisiveness
  • Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

The only symptom I don’t have is the recurring thoughts of suicide. I think of death, but not suicide. I deal with it every day. Please don’t think I’m whining because I’m not. It”s just a part of being me.

Encephalitis (en-sef-uh-LI-tis) is inflammation of the brain. Viral infections are the most common cause of the condition.

Encephalitis can cause flu-like symptoms, such as a fever or severe headache, as well as confused thinking, seizures, or problems with senses or movement. Many cases of encephalitis may go unnoticed because they result in only mild flu-like symptoms or even no symptoms. Severe cases of encephalitis, while relatively rare, can be life-threatening.

Because the course of any single case of encephalitis is relatively unpredictable, it’s important to get a timely diagnosis and treatment.

Of course, I had to be one of the rare exceptions. I acquired equine encephalitis from mosquitoes at the same time my Uncle had two horses die from the disease and also a boy in Atoka, Oklahoma did.  He died,  but God decided it wasn’t my time to join him yet and kept me in this world.  I think I was around 12 or 13 when it happened. I’m still dealing with the side effects from the disease.  That’s another one of the “it’s just me” area’s of my life.

Mind BogglingThis reflection of my life  is all due to finding a movie on YouTube this morning called “The Mole People.” I saw that movie in 1956 in Marysville California at a movie theater with my cousins. I was six years old. That is the first time I can remember being in a movie theater.  I never forgot that movie. I told many people about the scenes from that movie over the years.  I ‘m almost 65 years old and I can barely remember my name at times, but I never forgot an old campy horror film. That takes me full circle back to how amazing the brain is.  Of all of the life events I could remember, why is it “The Mole People?”  I guess only God knows that answer and I’ll have to wait to get my answer. Mind boggling, isn’t it?

Here is that wonderful old horror film.  See if you can forget it easier than I could.

The Mole People

Is It a Government Conspiracy?

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Meriwether Lewis

I watched a television program last night that totally fascinated me. It was about Meriwether Lewis. Those of you who are not familiar with him, I will tell you a little about his background. He was born on August 18, 1774 in Charlottesville, Virginia. He became a soldier, served under William Clark who he later picked to be co-charge for the great exploration of the west, authorized by Thomas Jefferson.  Meriwether started out as the personal secretary to President Jefferson, but Jefferson gave him another job to explore the Louisana Purchase and  westward.

President Jefferson also gave them a mandate to see if there were signs of Welch occupancy in the west. Since Lewis had served under William Clark, they knew each other well. The two gathered their supplies and other men and left for the unknown in May 1804.

Meriwether Lewis kept journals of everything he saw during his mission. He retured in May 1806.  Documentation along with drawings showed President Jefferson what was seen on the journey.

Three years after returning home, Meriwether was going back to Washington DC with his Journals  He was staying at an Inn on the Natchez Trace. The Trace was a well used 440 mile trail from Mississippi to Tennessee.  At the Inn on October 12, 1809, a couple of gun shots were heard and Meriwether Lewis was found dead. He had one shot in the abdomen and one through the head, with blew part of the skull off exposing the brain. It was ruled as a suicide.

Since that time there has been a theory that the United States Government had him killed because he had found something during the expedition that would threaten the United States right to the lands west of the Mississippi. Such as the Welch having been there before which would give England the right to the land.

Pages had been torn from his journal and were never seen again. Lewis was a Mason and had his apron in his pocket. When they removed it, it was blood spattered. The apron is on display in Montana. Blood samples were taken and it has been shown that it came from two different men and not Meriwether Lewis.

I think it’s fascinating to know that even back when the country was new that a National Hero could have been killed because of knowledge he had that could harm the government. It’s something we will never know for sure but does make for a good story.

The Thornbirds and Aging

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I bet you are wondering how The Thornbirds relates to aging.  It is by association only and I will tell you how.  This morning I was reading a blog and it mentioned doing a blog on movies that we own.  One of my favorite movies is “The Thornbirds” with Barbara Stanwyck, and Richard Chamberlain.

Thinking about that movie, prompted me to remember the scene at the birthday party where Mary Carson is trying to get Father de Bricassart to kiss her.  Mary tells him her body may be seventy-five (just guessing) but in her mind she is still a young woman with all the same needs and desires.

I feel that one scene says so much about life and ageing, at least for me.  I am sixty-one years old and I feel the same way.  My brain still thinks, and feels like I am twenty-five but my body definitely says I’m sixty-one.  I am a lot smarter than I was a twenty-five (thank goodness), but nothing has been taken away from my mind.

When I was a young lady, working in long-term care, I would care for people, and ask myself what would be better, to lose your mind, and keep a fairly healthy body, or to lose the body and have a totally intact mind.  I have reached an age where I have made a decision.  I choose to keep a healthy mind.  I want to know what is going on around me or in other words I want to see life for as long as I can.  When my quality of life is gone, then take my brain so I don’t know anything.  Honestly, I want the good Lord to call me home before I get into that position.  unfortunately it is something we have no control over unless you choose suicide.  As far as I am concerned suicide is not an option.  Suicide is a copout on life.

Some people let their mind age out of choice.  They choose not to expand their knowledge about anything.  They want to sit in that rocker and wait to die (another copout).  My dad is eighty-five years old and he certainly doesn’t fit in that category.  He keeps up with politics and everything going on around him.  He still goes out and climbs on a tractor to take a round bale of hay to the cattle.  His body has lots of aches and pains but he keeps moving, and keeps his mind active.  If the good Lord lets me reach eighty-five, I hope he lets me do as well.

My question to you is; Do you want your mind or body to live the longest, if one has to go before the other?  That’s my two-cents for today.